On 9/6/08, I was honored to perform the wedding of David and Meggie, two of my closest friends. They told me I could post the text of it here. Get ready, posterity…here it comes:

David and Meggie. Mr. and Mrs. Cochran. Mr. and Mrs. Garcia. Beloved friends, family and colleagues. Everyone else. Marriage. Marriage is what brings us together today. Marriage, the blessed arrangement, that dream within a dream. We have come here to celebrate the marriage and intertwining of David and Meggie, who have fallen deeply in love and chosen to get married in our presence.

It is the belief of some that our lives and destinies are already laid out deep within us and that life itself is the process of being willing to discover the direction of our path step by step. Others believe that life is a free-wheeling free-will jamboree during which we find our own way and blaze our own trails. Some people feel that our lives are all contained within the dreams of a sleeping giant, destined to all end in a flash when his or her giant alarm clock goes off on his or her giant nightstand.

In any case, we can all agree that people, such as David and Meggie, have weddings, like this one, and enter into a marriage. Marriage itself is a nurturing matrix within which two individuals can continue to expand and develop as their singular selves. In this view, the focus is not solely on the couple and what they may undertake together, but just as much on the individuals who compose that couple and what they have to contribute through their lives, how their union serves to enlarge and develop each of them. It’s a process of striving for personal destinies, but doing so hand-in-hand.

Although this may appear on the surface to be a less romantic vision of love, it is a view that holds a relationship in the highest spiritual regard, for it has as its underlying assumption that each of us is alive for an important purpose and that marriage enhances the capacity for one to excel and succeed. Like individual Lego bricks, two come together to form what is, essentially, a larger Lego brick. That larger Lego brick becomes a vital part of the foundation of our society, which in this case could be a large castle or pirate ship. Without this two-piece, larger Lego brick, the castle or ship is smaller and less useful and more apt for crumbling. Our world is strengthened as each Lego connects to another.

David and Meggie have stretched their individual development so far that they are no longer wandering around and laboring in solitude to discover themselves. They have come upon each other in their personal quests and realized that they are incredibly and wholly in love with one another, a love that brightens their lives in ways they could never know on their own. Their love inspires and occasionally sickens those around them as it is pure and bold and undeniable. We celebrate with them their arrival at the gateway to true and conscious loving. Let us be happy for this wonderful landmark in the journey of their lives, this love that has brought them, and us, to the joyous occasion of this marriage.

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I have known David for a third of my life, but it’s only been within the last few years that I began to spend what we can all agree is far too much time with him. It was during this period that David met Meggie, a presence in his life that would eventually clarify for him who he wanted to be as a person. Their love for one another is obvious in everything they do, be it something blatantly romantic or as simple as a conversation over dinner. I catch them looking at each other from time to time when they don’t know that I see them. All I can see on their faces is straightforward, uncompromising love. Sometimes that might devolve into a silly face or “the look”, but the foundation is always there and apparent. Their love is an encouraging example that there is a perfect match for everyone, even someone like David.

It’s an understatement to say that life has changed substantially for both David and Meggie since they met. There has been adversity, to be sure, but there are many stories about people who’ve gone through worse and come out the other side all the better for it. These stories are true.

David, you are my best friend, my writing partner, and someone for whom I would consider maybe taking a bullet. Meggie, you have become a close friend, an occasional maker of meals for me, and someone who won’t let me put my feet on your coffee table. I am honored and pleased to be here performing your ceremony. I look forward to watching the two of you charge wildly into the future together because it is said that the family of the 21st century is made up of friends and I am proud to be part of yours.

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There is no moment without meaning, no undertaking without significance. We ask that you both, together and as your own wonderful selves, be honored and expanded by the promises you are about to make, the marriage you are about to create. And may love, the destiny above all destinies, be always in your midst, the handmaid and the master of your marriage.

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Having been reminded once again of the deep value of the love you feel as well as the strength of your individual presences in this union, I ask of you these questions. Do you, David, choose to marry Meggie in order to provide her with a lifetime of love, respect, adoration, humor, and awesomeness and also to create with her a loving home for the rest of the days of your life? Do you, Meggie, choose to marry David in order to provide him with a lifetime of love, respect, adoration, humor, and also to create with him a loving home in which he can play video games from time to time for the rest of the days of your life?

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David and Meggie have chosen to write their own vows, so I’m going to let them take over. (David first)

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Rings are created solely for the purpose of being worn. On their own, their value is small no matter how high their price. Rings are made precious by our wearing them. They carry our meaning; they say who we are, where we have been, and where we are going. Worn, they become us and reflect us. These rings are a symbol of our truest essence and the bonds we have to one another. They are also very shiny, like the light with which you fill one another. They are also made of metal, which makes them hardcore and lasting, like your love. And they’re round, like love also is somehow.

You each will wear a ring on your finger as an outward expression of the way you wear each other in your hearts. These rings will remain forever, reminding you that even in solitude you are never alone. A reminder that before too long, they will clink together the next time you are able to grasp one another’s hands.

As a sign of my love
and that I am choosing
to share my whole life’s journey with you,
and of my knowing that in marrying
you I shall become much more than I am,
I give you this ring,
with the pledge
that with you
I shall become most truly myself
and offer such gifts as I have
and I am to the world

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Now having freely chosen to continue your growth and development in your own ways while strengthened by this union, knowing that you’ve taken up the task of clearly seeing, knowing, and supporting another human being, and having honored one another with the gift of your rings, I now pronounce you husband and wife.

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May all that you have already become, which has brought you to this day, and all you will become as a consequence of it, in the lifelong joining of your hearts and minds continue to show you your purpose. May you always be brought most beautifully and steadfastly into the presence of yourselves and of one another, and may you live long and happily fulfilling all that you are. Just remember, above all, to be excellent to one another.

Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce Mr. and Mrs. David C. Garcia

In the interest of full disclosure, I borrowed liberally from Weddings From The Heart, but heavily re-wrote the content. Most of what I took directly was structural.

There’s also a less true account of this ceremony over at These Stories Are True. Enjoy.

b

Filed under: General, Writing