It’s Saturday night and I’m sitting here at the computer thinking “Why am I sitting here at the computer on a Saturday night?” I have my reasons. Stop judging me.

This week has had solid ups and downs, mosly leaving me in an overall pleasant mood and situation. It has, however, not afforded me any interesting tales as I’d hoped to be able to relay. So I’m just going to grab a bunch of stories from Google News and offer some commentary. I will stop when I get bored or boring.

Russian spacecraft carrying U.S. astronaut lands safely
After 190 days, three astronauts returned home without incident. After three months in space, they were fortunate enough to realize that they haven’t missed any episodes of “Lost.”

What I find interesting about this story is mainly the fact that headline loudly proclaims an American astronaut came home safely. Don’t get me wrong…I have nothing against American astronauts. I’m sure they’re lovely people who, upon returning to Earth, have the same problems the rest of us have with money, families, and voracious Tang addictions. What caught me off-guard was upon reading the article and realizing that Marcos Pontes was on-board. Marcos Pontes is the first astronaut from Brazil and was up there with the American (God Bless ‘Im) astronaut and a cosmonaut. Isn’t that a more interesting story? New countries taking trips to space? I mean, it’s not as groundbreaking as the first moonwalk or America’s desperate freakout when Sputnik first tasted space dust, but it’s a great thing for the world at large for more nations to get involved in space programs. Why, you ask? Mainly because when I get to the first moon colony, I want to be able to order a wide variety of different foods. Or something like that.

Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie in Namibia
Phew. I was worried about them. And Namibia. I feel better now.

Jail bars ‘brokeback’ viewing: Warden turns movie off, didn’t want cons turned on
I hear the same thing happens then show…umm…something else.  At something else.  I got nothing.  This story is so incredibly stupid that I can’t even think of anything witty to say about it.  Here’s the deal…basically they started showing “Brokeback Mountain” at a prison without screening it first and realizing there are “graphic sex scenes” in it.  Now keep in mind that they turned off the movie 10 minutes from the ending, so I would assume that most of the “damage” is already done.  I still have yet to see this flick, but I’m assuming that the final 15 minutes are not some sort of gay cowboy orgy sequences with subliminal messages encouraging prisoners to immediately start “passing the time” with their cellmates.  Like I said, I haven’t seen it…that may well be the ending.  That Ang Lee is a wily guy.

The big issue, according to this article, is that cell-block sex is a major problem in institutions.  All of the “don’t drop the soap” and other cliches aside, I can sort of understand this.  And one bulky hardened criminal raping another is certainly unacceptable.  But I can imagine that one of the best ways to keep these guys docile and stop prison riots before they start is to let them have sex.  It’s sort of a general guy goal.  Of course, that could be part of the “advertising” for keeping people from committing crimes.  I could be standing outside some house wondering if I should break in, steal things, and, perhaps, defecate on the furniture when a commerical jingle rings through my brain.  Fifteen years, the time gets paid, fifteen years to not get laaaaaid…  I’d probably lay down my crowbar, pull my pants back up, and walk away.

Okay, that’s all I’ve got.  I’m done with this.  I’m not The Daily Show and have no patience for reading news articles when I’m tired and doing it for fun.  As always, I skip to the entertainment section, roll my eyes enough to count the holes in the ceiling tile, and go do something else.  So that’s what I’m doing.  Have a good night.

b

Filed under: General